Ideas: Wedding Gifts for KGMP

Matching sweaters for the Bride and Groom:

Taxidermy:

American flag household items:

Framed art:

Crocheted wall hangings:

Don't forget, BLs.....

.... to RSVP for the KGMP! You're gonna want to be there. What could be more exciting than a party thrown by these hotties?

WWoHPBP Quote Wall

Kelly: "I'm sick."

Eschu: "You LOOK not good."

EThomps, at airport: "Half of us here are Erins."

Loudspeaker at LAX: "Voldemort Kalowsky, please come to gate N6. Voldemort Kalowsky."

EThomps: "Yeah, I can see loving it for the first year. Maybe two."

NKR: "Loving what?"

EThomps: "A child."

ESchu: "This laser is amazing! It can reach to the stars! It goes two miles."

Joan: "Wow, it's so weird driving with water on both sides!"

Lydia: "You mean.... like a bridge?"

ESchu: "I can't tell who's who when you all wear that shirt."

Lynn: "I dare you to lick Kelly's stomach."

Jodi: "It would be just like a touch tank."

Lynn: "Snape would be a tender lover."

Jodi: "There are lots of men with penises out there."

Courtney: "So... EThomps isn't here?" (2 hours after leaving EThomps at the condo)

Jodi: "Are dolphins more likely to be taken advantage of on land?"

Lynn: "Why are all those people pointing at us?"

Jodi: "OH MY GOD, are they pointing a gun at me?"

Kelly, after Michelle asked for us all to be quiet: "What if it's your bachelorette party and you just want to act like a manatee for a minute?"

Nicole: "Leave it ball."

Jodi: "That's what happens when you go back to online school to get your second BA." (regarding her expanded vocabulary.)

Jodi: "T-Rexes make good parents."

Renrir: "Oh, there's my friends! WE MADE IT!!!" (shouted through a closed window to a man who she had spoken with briefly 2 hours ago and clearly did not remember her)

(In a game of Date, Do, or Dump.....) "Okay, Jodi's ex-boyfriends. 1) Bangs Only; 2) One tooth...."

Jodi: "Those were the same person!"

Justin: "We hired a blind man to measure our windows."

::pause::

Nicole: "Why.... why specifically a blind man? Do they have heightened measuring senses?"

Justin: "No, a blinds man."

Lynn: "The bigger the boobs, the bigger the litterer."

Jodi: "What?? No, the bigger the boobs, the bigger - the better - the everything!"

Geocaching song: "I'm just a normal girl."

Courtney, creepily to Eschu: "Massage parlour?"

During "Bag of Nouns"

- "Nipple Noises!"

- "Cat freckles!"

- "Marijuana racing!"

- "WHO THE F*%& IS HOWARD HAMBLETON????" (said by Courtney, who remembered shortly afterwards that she had put Howard Hambleton in herself)

Wow.

Way to go, Better Lovers. Readers make Better Vacationers. That was the greatest vacation ever.

Places Nicole should get a job

Here are my suggestions:

- Build a Bear

- Glow, Bellingham's premium night spot

- Lynden Ice Factory

- A tanning salon

What are your suggestions?

New Years Goals

Only 5 posts this year, ladies?

That is a sad, sad, sad showing.

I blame Jodi.

Best Book Club Charades of All Time

At our last BL meeting, we ended then night with a game of charades. Here is a list of the things we charaded:**

• "Ricky Martin Van Buren in a stocking"
• "Lance Bass"
• "Jodi's students"
• "Centaur eats pizza"
• "Mrs. Weasley"
• "Ren wants a baby"
• "Ren and Stimpy"
• "Mrs. Norris petrified by basilisk"
• "Erin looking for the campsite"
• "Lindsay slow dancing with her birthday twin"
• "Abraham Lincoln"
  
• "Gingerbread cookie missing its head"
• "Jim Henson"
• "Frosty melts his face off"
• "Tiger clock from Drew's mom"
• "Dreaming of Harry Potter"
• "Hagrid"
• "Denzel Washington"
• "Drew made a Harper ornament"
• "Courtney getting hot dogs thrown at her"
• "Flanhoodles"
• "Abe snuggling with Lindsay"
• "Fatima getting back together w/ West"
• "Fascreama"
• "Chocolate wine"
• "Courtney come back"
• "Abe bringing a live mouse into the house"
• "Choking on a chicken nugget"
• "A Yoni face"
• "A one night stand with Jodi"
• "You're making a bad decision"
• "Us playing Charades"
• "Courtney kicking out a window"
• "Sputnik"
• "Lorena Bobbit"
• "HP land"
• "Harper Lee on valium when Kelly leaves"
• "Luce (the ghost)"
• "Erin as Jared"
• "Sweaty Jodi"
• "Baby Jesus"
• "Draco Malfoy"
• "Nimbus 2000"
• "Ren's snake Cleopatra"
• "Rudolph the mauve-nosed reindeer" (acted out as "Rudolph the mare-nosed reindeer" due to handwriting issues)
• "The Holiday Armadillo"
• "Lynn and Cornhouse chasing the prodigy in shopping cart"
• "Obama singing Poker Face"
• "Lynn at Lake Taco"
• "Jodi before a date"
• "Kevin (Home Alone)"
• "Mundungus Fletcher"
• "Steven running a 5k"
• "Ren and Brian getting back together after a few hours"
• "Christmas tree"
• "Gloria (the baby)"
• "Kelly lectures Trouble Tall"
• "Lindsay scaring Abe with a pillow"
• "Erin acting like Lance"
• "Jodi's student saying 'Five Golden Rings'"
• "Did you know his name is Swoopy?"
• "Don't eat that candy cane, it's like 10 years old"
• "Sasquatch finds a mouse"
• "Percy Weasley"
• "Drew proposing to Kelly"
• "Hamster in a hamster ball"
• "Jack (the dog or the boyfriend)"
• "Grandma got run over by a reindeer"

** This author omitted certain charades phrases that were inappropriate, incriminating, or humiliating to any member of the book club

Also, the new book was chosen. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Get reading, BLs!

Hey losers who didn't go camping:

Here are some awesome pictures of the fun time we had!

Acceptance Speech

Hello everyone,
I have been informed that I am the BLMVP. First of all, I'd like to thank my competitors, Jodi and Lindsay. It was an honor just to be nominated with these lovely and talented ladies, but, let's be honest, the best woman won.

Actually, Nicole probably picked me because she felt bad that her stupid cat peed in my clothes.

As many of you know, I now have a master's degree, so that means I can boss all of you around, except for KJW, who also has a master's degree.

Because of my extensive qualifications, I am going to go outside the norm for picking a book. I am picking two.

"Two?" you ask incredulously. That's right, bitches! Two! As we all know, Ski to Sea 2010 is approaching, and, I want everyone to have plenty of time to read the stunning book I have selected THE HANDMAID'S TALE by MARGARET ATWOOD.

So, I propose, to enhance the fun-ness of our pre-Ski to Sea carbo-loading/bonding, we take a page from 2008's book (literature joke!) and each read a Sweet Valley High book and prepare a short book report.

Let me know what y'all think.
XOXO,
Gossip Girl

Winter 2010 Book Announcement

As most of you heard, the next book is

GONE WITH THE WIND

by Margaret Mitchell

This book was selected by MVP BL, Nicole Raden. You're welcome.

PS. I did not realize that this book is like over a thousand pages long. That is a long f-ing book. But it's a classic, so suck it up, guys. Read it.

PPS. At the next BL meeting we are going to watch the movie.

PPPS. I've already read the first 10 pages.

Better Lover Baby Shower

I just want to say THANK YOU ALL for the awesome baby shower books (and E for the nipple warmers). With all these fabulous books I'm sure little Rafferty will be a baby better lover! Yeah!

Because we are awesome

Better Lovers,

While we bask in the joy of electing one of our nearest and dearest to victory in the hotly contested race to be the BEST BARTENDER IN ALL OF BELLINGHAM, perhaps we should think about purchasing the next book we are to read.

Stiff, by Mary Roach

If you can't find it at your friendly local bookseller, or simply only have the time for internet ordering, may I suggest you purchase it from Better World Books?

Not only is it NOT a corporate mega giant, there is free shipping everywhere in the US, you can offset the carbon emissions of shipping for 25 cents, and a portion of their profits goes to world literacy programs.

Sincerely,

Flanhoodles

WE DID IT!!!!

We made DON BUTLER the BEST Bartender in B-Ham!

http://www.cascadiaweekly.com/cw?/content/best_of_bellingham_2009/2068/

Best of Bellingham

Readers rate their favorite haunts, hideouts and hungers

Best Bartender: Don Butler at the Beaver Inn

I dunno. I always find Don a bit gruff, but maybe that’s what readers like in their bartenders, especially during these hard times: Mix ‘em mean, pour ‘em plenty, and leave us to knock ‘em back without a lot of chit-chat. I’ve seen Don expertly mix a few girlish frou-frous, too, then step back and study how they’re consumed with an expression most droll.

Don is the Best!

So apparently there is a "best of Bellingham" list published every year through the Cascadia Weekly and right now they are trying to gather their "bests." Amongst them is who is the best bartender in B-ham.... and the obvious answer is DON from the Beaver! But we need to get the word out.

So, maybe if we all vote, we can get him on the list!

http://www.cascadiaweekly.com/cw?/content/BOB/

Anyone know what Don's last name is though?

Baby Rafferty

Well, I thought it was about time for a new better lover of the month..... Howabout a product of all this better lovin'? Baby Rafferty! Due March 26th! Currently 1 1/2 inches long! Yay!!!!

The Great Outdoors

Sexy Readers, hold onto your hats, it's time for the 2nd Annual Better Lovers' Camping Extavaganza!

Occurring during the second weekend in September (18th - 20th), it will be a grand old time of books and beer, nature and naps, marshmallows and memories, carousing and cheer, fires and falafels and Ludacris and lions. (One of these pairs might not be true.)

We have not yet decided where this camping trip is going to occur, so I outlined so

me choices, with pros, cons, and helpful photographs. Make a case for your favorite in the comments.

Site 1: Deception Pass

Pros:

- Semi-close to Bellingham

- Lake AND the ocean accessible

- Free geology lecture, by me

Cons:

- Most of us have probably been there several times

- Nicole looks like this when she camps at Deception Pass

Site 2: Lake Wenatchee State Park

Pros:

- Near Leavenworth, aka near Bavarian fun and wine tasting

- On a lake, so that means we could possibly end up On a Boat, with T-

Pain

- The A&E network named Leavenworth the #1 Holiday Town in America

Cons:

- 3-ish hours from Bellingham

- Holiday themed towns might 'creep out' Jodi

Site 3: North Cascades

Pros:

- There is a river that you can throw rocks in. It's really fun.

- There is a crick to chill your beer, for Crick Beer.

- It's a National Park

Cons:

- Small campground.

- Close to the highway.

- Bethany Jean has trouble sitting in the camping chair.

Site 4: Larabee

Pros:

- Close to Bellingham for easy commuting

- Fellow campers are easily intimidated into leaving by Wizard Staffs.

- Tide pools

- Kelly may fall into the muck again, that was pretty hilarious.

Cons:

- Been there, done that

- Courtney is really, really scared of the Sheriff

Site 5: San Juan Island

Pros:

- Bethany Jean will be there, saving the wildlife

- Ferrry Ride!

- Possible whale sightings.

Cons:

- Ghetto Pig has an irrational fear of islands

- Limited camping sites

Site 6: Forks

Pros:

- Site of the greatest work in the history of Literature.

- Interesting local wildlife (spotted owls, werewolves, vampires, salmon)

- Possibility of finding True, Eternal, Undying Love

Cons:

- Kind of far away

- Twilight fans

BL of the Month

Also, someone choose the next BL of the Month!  I would, but I'm on my work computadora and I don't have any good pictures here to post.

JULY, YEAH!

'mallows

Who wants to plan a camping trip on a weekend in late August or September?

Thank you.

BL of the Month !

I am very happy that Jack is the BL of the month ... he is very excited also. He is sitting right next to me (whats new?!?) and his little knubbin of a tail (but bigger than Ricky's non-existant tail) is wagging back and forth at an impecable pace.

But, we have to complain because there is nothing written about him! The picture of him in his S2S shirt is fantastic, but come on, a few words/ phrases/ sentences please! If this doesn't happen, Jack will bite you next time he sees you.