Kelly: "I'm sick."
Eschu: "You LOOK not good."
EThomps, at airport: "Half of us here are Erins."
Loudspeaker at LAX: "Voldemort Kalowsky, please come to gate N6. Voldemort Kalowsky."
EThomps: "Yeah, I can see loving it for the first year. Maybe two."
NKR: "Loving what?"
EThomps: "A child."
ESchu: "This laser is amazing! It can reach to the stars! It goes two miles."
Joan: "Wow, it's so weird driving with water on both sides!"
Lydia: "You mean.... like a bridge?"
ESchu: "I can't tell who's who when you all wear that shirt."
Lynn: "I dare you to lick Kelly's stomach."
Jodi: "It would be just like a touch tank."
Lynn: "Snape would be a tender lover."
Jodi: "There are lots of men with penises out there."
Courtney: "So... EThomps isn't here?" (2 hours after leaving EThomps at the condo)
Jodi: "Are dolphins more likely to be taken advantage of on land?"
Lynn: "Why are all those people pointing at us?"
Jodi: "OH MY GOD, are they pointing a gun at me?"
Kelly, after Michelle asked for us all to be quiet: "What if it's your bachelorette party and you just want to act like a manatee for a minute?"
Nicole: "Leave it ball."
Jodi: "That's what happens when you go back to online school to get your second BA." (regarding her expanded vocabulary.)
Jodi: "T-Rexes make good parents."
Renrir: "Oh, there's my friends! WE MADE IT!!!" (shouted through a closed window to a man who she had spoken with briefly 2 hours ago and clearly did not remember her)
(In a game of Date, Do, or Dump.....) "Okay, Jodi's ex-boyfriends. 1) Bangs Only; 2) One tooth...."
Jodi: "Those were the same person!"
Justin: "We hired a blind man to measure our windows."
Nicole: "Why.... why specifically a blind man? Do they have heightened measuring senses?"
Justin: "No, a blinds man."
Lynn: "The bigger the boobs, the bigger the litterer."
Jodi: "What?? No, the bigger the boobs, the bigger - the better - the everything!"
Geocaching song: "I'm just a normal girl."
Courtney, creepily to Eschu: "Massage parlour?"
During "Bag of Nouns"
- "Nipple Noises!"
- "Cat freckles!"
- "Marijuana racing!"
- "WHO THE F*%& IS HOWARD HAMBLETON????" (said by Courtney, who remembered shortly afterwards that she had put Howard Hambleton in herself)