Wednesday, December 31, 2008

From Grandma Betty

Better Lovers -

It's been a lot of fun being part of the Better Lovers Book Club. It was a great honor to be chosen as Better Lover of the Month of December!!! Courtney topped it off with Better Lovers shirts for me and my husband as Christmas presents. Obama is definitely number one and we pray for him every day. My Obama library is growing - I got three new books for Christmas!!!

Your Better Lover, Betty

Monday, December 29, 2008

What if...

What if instead of singing it "I'm bringing Sexy Back," we sang

"I'm bringing HandySnacks!"

and brought Rachel into the BLBC? She keeps saying that she's going to come and then she never does. How can we unite to bring Handysnacks?

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Some BL pictures I think should be here

There are some hardcore BLers. Special kudos to those who journeyed from afar.

Monday, December 22, 2008


Well as excited as I am about the snow, I am a bit snowed in.... This may affect my presence at the boozy brunch tomorrow....

Saturday, December 20, 2008

New Favorite Blog

Fuck You, Penguin.

A blog where cute animals are told what's what.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

No one has posted in a week!

Sometimes, school is snowed out. And I can't sleep well because I drank too much the previous night. And I have already run my errands like getting the flu shot and dropping off library books and spreading vicious lies about Ghetto Pig.

So what do I do for the rest of the day?

I search for pets. It is here, at, where I found a Chihuahua/Pomeranian mix named Barack Obama. Wait, wait, wait: BaDOG Obama. Hahahaha. Funny! I am so very funny!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Monday, December 8, 2008

Book Clubs are Awesome!

And they don't even mention the fun you can have at DRUNK book club, or when your book club WINS a major relay race.


"An upswing in the number of book groups has apparently necessitated the need for something called a "professional book-group facilitator" who charges $250 to $300 per member for her mediating services. People quoted in the piece complain about narcissists who hog the floor, competitive refreshments, bans on political talk, oversharers and domineering 'ayatollahs.' "

I think any one of us is qualified for this job. Now how do I go about getting it?

I finished school today.

I keep wanting to say I graduated today, but I don't know if that is true? When is the actual moment you graduate? Is it when you turn in your exam? When you get your grades? When your diploma arrives in the mail? I know it isn't when you walk, because tons of people don't walk when they graduate. Anyhoo, this is really bothering me, because I think it might have been when I turned in my test, and if that's the case I wasn't even thinking about it and I totally missed the moment, and it will never come again...

All to say, I would like to have toast to graduation (all peoples, future and pasts) at the next BL meeting.

Maybe we can all wear hats and throw them in the air? Or we can wear robes, or snuggies!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Friday, December 5, 2008

A hippie, and the visions of me that danced in her head (a Better Lover's Bedtime Christmas story)

Item #1: Yeah for Gay Rights. Excellent find Lynn, good performance Jesus, etc.

Item #2: I thought a woman was hitting on me, and almost had a gay situation to diffuse. It went as follows -

A woman I've known for four years - I used to work with her - is of the hippie kind. She is rather flow-y, talks so even keeled you just want to hit her, and she refers to the spirit world quite often. She also went to dog-whisperer therapy and is in tune with her "water" and "fire" selves. I ran into her yesterday, and took a few deep breaths to prepare myself for the encounter - I should have taken a few more.

Jamie gave me a hug, and we said the standardized, "Hello's, and How Are Yous." This conversation moved away from the standard when she said, "I've been thinking about you for like a year and a half! I read your Guatemala blog, but then you just dropped off the face of the planet, and I just keep thinking about you. I can't seem to get you off my radar. Do you mind if I walk you to your car, I have something personal to ask you." Not wanting to be on her radar (for a year and a half!) and slightly worried, I nodded.

Once outside, our conversation became one that earned Better Lover exposure.

"Courtney, I don't know what your sexual preference is - whether you prefer men or women, but, like I said, I've just had you on my radar. I realize this is very personal, and this conversation isn't like one I've ever had, but I'm just wondering . . . " She looked at me expectantly, but I just stared at her, attempting to exude heterosexuality.

"Well, Courtney, there's this person. I just want to tell you a little bit about the situation. I've known this person for a year and a half, and for some reason, every time I see this person, you are standing right there! I see you, clear as day, in my mind, standing next to this person as I talk to them. Always, you have always been there. I didn't know why it was, until three weeks ago, my vision of you, standing there, was so strong - I thought maybe it was a sign. Now, I'm not a matchmaker, and I've never had this happen before, but I see you so strongly with this person. Are you involved with anyone?" I shake my head thinking, Damn! Why is there no one with me to hear this conversation?

Her face lights up and she says, "And . . . "
"And I prefer men." I happily declare, thinking this would squash the conversation.
"Excellent! Well, this person is a man." Damn hippies that are so sensitive to gender issues they say this person and partner for everyone. I kind of hoped it had been a girl - an easily diverted blind date. "And three weeks ago, when I saw you so clearly, I decided to tell him. I asked him about his relationship status, and he said that he was in fact looking for someone to walk his life path with." Note to self: Don't date someone who uses the term "life path."

"He travels. Actually, I didn't know where he had gone. He was gone for like 6 months, and when I saw him again, turns out he had traveled that whole time! And he works at a day care, and his name is Ryan. So, I told him about how for some reason, you came into my mind every time I spoke with him. His face just lit up! He seemed interested and enthusiastic. I told him I didn't know when you would be popping into my life again, but here you are today and looking beautiful! That's one of the reasons why I think I see you with him. He has dark hair and dark eyes, it's like you guys are from the same tribe."
Damn it!! Seriously, how is there no one around to hear this?!!

"He told me that he would be very happy to meet you if you wanted to initiate anything."

I break my silence by asking, "How do you know this guy again?"

"Oh, he's a cashier at the Co-Op."

"That's how you met him, or when you talked to him?"

"Both. I only know him as a cashier at the Co-Op, I see him when I get my groceries. Do you have free time right now? He works today, you could swing through his line . . . . you'll know him because his name-tag says Ryan, and remember to look for a very handsome man with your same tribal features."

Cunte reaction: You told a cashier, about visions you've been having of him and another girl? Was there anyone in line behind you?

Crumbcake reaction: You are SO WEIRD!!

Corpsey Reaction: Well, you are weirdly in tune with the spirit world, what if he is my future husband?

Richard Simmons reaction: Hmmm, I wonder if he is "very handsome," that couldn't be a bad thing. Maybe . . .

Courhouse reaction: However, if we're from the same tribe, that would be incest.

Cross Fire reaction: Oh, my friends are gonna love this story.

Crotch Potato reaction: Regardless of your weirdness, my curiosity has officially been piqued. I need friends to bombard the Co-Op for Covert Operation: Find Courtney's Tribal Mate.

Courtney Reaction: "Huh, well, that's very interesting. I'm off to a final right now, but I'll definitely keep you posted should anything come up. I've got your email."

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


I am going to join a support group for Pet Owners of Amputees because Ricky the Cat had his tail amputated yesterday.

And I think you should all support me as well.

You can support me financially or with in-kind donations of jewelry or electronics. Ricky and I would just appreciate anything at this point.


Better Lovers I will see you in a short time!! I have the book!! I am excited!! Rah! Rah! Rah!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Second of all, good call on the BL of the Month.

Obama! Cunte's-grandma! Obama! Cunte's-grandma!

They sound the same.

First of all, I have a little cold.