Better Lovers -
It's been a lot of fun being part of the Better Lovers Book Club. It was a great honor to be chosen as Better Lover of the Month of December!!! Courtney topped it off with Better Lovers shirts for me and my husband as Christmas presents. Obama is definitely number one and we pray for him every day. My Obama library is growing - I got three new books for Christmas!!!
Affectionately,
Your Better Lover, Betty
What if instead of singing it "I'm bringing Sexy Back," we sang
Item #1: Yeah for Gay Rights. Excellent find Lynn, good performance Jesus, etc.
Item #2: I thought a woman was hitting on me, and almost had a gay situation to diffuse. It went as follows -
A woman I've known for four years - I used to work with her - is of the hippie kind. She is rather flow-y, talks so even keeled you just want to hit her, and she refers to the spirit world quite often. She also went to dog-whisperer therapy and is in tune with her "water" and "fire" selves. I ran into her yesterday, and took a few deep breaths to prepare myself for the encounter - I should have taken a few more.
Jamie gave me a hug, and we said the standardized, "Hello's, and How Are Yous." This conversation moved away from the standard when she said, "I've been thinking about you for like a year and a half! I read your Guatemala blog, but then you just dropped off the face of the planet, and I just keep thinking about you. I can't seem to get you off my radar. Do you mind if I walk you to your car, I have something personal to ask you." Not wanting to be on her radar (for a year and a half!) and slightly worried, I nodded.
Once outside, our conversation became one that earned Better Lover exposure.
"Courtney, I don't know what your sexual preference is - whether you prefer men or women, but, like I said, I've just had you on my radar. I realize this is very personal, and this conversation isn't like one I've ever had, but I'm just wondering . . . " She looked at me expectantly, but I just stared at her, attempting to exude heterosexuality.
"Well, Courtney, there's this person. I just want to tell you a little bit about the situation. I've known this person for a year and a half, and for some reason, every time I see this person, you are standing right there! I see you, clear as day, in my mind, standing next to this person as I talk to them. Always, you have always been there. I didn't know why it was, until three weeks ago, my vision of you, standing there, was so strong - I thought maybe it was a sign. Now, I'm not a matchmaker, and I've never had this happen before, but I see you so strongly with this person. Are you involved with anyone?" I shake my head thinking, Damn! Why is there no one with me to hear this conversation?
Her face lights up and she says, "And . . . "
"And I prefer men." I happily declare, thinking this would squash the conversation.
"Excellent! Well, this person is a man." Damn hippies that are so sensitive to gender issues they say this person and partner for everyone. I kind of hoped it had been a girl - an easily diverted blind date. "And three weeks ago, when I saw you so clearly, I decided to tell him. I asked him about his relationship status, and he said that he was in fact looking for someone to walk his life path with." Note to self: Don't date someone who uses the term "life path."
"He travels. Actually, I didn't know where he had gone. He was gone for like 6 months, and when I saw him again, turns out he had traveled that whole time! And he works at a day care, and his name is Ryan. So, I told him about how for some reason, you came into my mind every time I spoke with him. His face just lit up! He seemed interested and enthusiastic. I told him I didn't know when you would be popping into my life again, but here you are today and looking beautiful! That's one of the reasons why I think I see you with him. He has dark hair and dark eyes, it's like you guys are from the same tribe."
Damn it!! Seriously, how is there no one around to hear this?!!
"He told me that he would be very happy to meet you if you wanted to initiate anything."
I break my silence by asking, "How do you know this guy again?"
"Oh, he's a cashier at the Co-Op."
"That's how you met him, or when you talked to him?"
"Both. I only know him as a cashier at the Co-Op, I see him when I get my groceries. Do you have free time right now? He works today, you could swing through his line . . . . you'll know him because his name-tag says Ryan, and remember to look for a very handsome man with your same tribal features."
Cunte reaction: You told a cashier, about visions you've been having of him and another girl? Was there anyone in line behind you?
Crumbcake reaction: You are SO WEIRD!!
Corpsey Reaction: Well, you are weirdly in tune with the spirit world, what if he is my future husband?
Richard Simmons reaction: Hmmm, I wonder if he is "very handsome," that couldn't be a bad thing. Maybe . . .
Courhouse reaction: However, if we're from the same tribe, that would be incest.
Cross Fire reaction: Oh, my friends are gonna love this story.
Crotch Potato reaction: Regardless of your weirdness, my curiosity has officially been piqued. I need friends to bombard the Co-Op for Covert Operation: Find Courtney's Tribal Mate.
Courtney Reaction: "Huh, well, that's very interesting. I'm off to a final right now, but I'll definitely keep you posted should anything come up. I've got your email."
