Post #2 (chronologically), Post #1 (in quality)

"Kelly, what else do we need to complete these fish tacos?" my roommate Scotty Too Hotty asked me.

"Corona," I responded, matter-of-factly. [How the h is "factly" a word?]

"Yeah!" he squealed.

So I put on jeans (I was wearing only a tube top. The rest of me was naked) (psych, I was working work pants) and my Better Lovers hoodie.

This is where it gets good.

"Oh, Heavens!" I gasped to myself. "I live near my students now. Will they see me and read our clever slogan and spread rumors about their Humanities teacher's sluttiness?" What a conundrum. What a motherfucking, fatherblowing conundrum.

I decided to wear it anyway, and I saw a student, but he didn't see me.

The end.