Shaken, not stirred

Go see Quantum of Solace, the new James Bond movie.

IT IS ABOUT GEOLOGY!

I love when James Bond movies are about geology.

One reason; never to work at Wal-Mart, to hate Black Friday, to be disgusted with discount shopping fanatics

Surging shoppers kill New York Wal-Mart worker

NEW YORK — A man working for Wal-Mart was killed on Friday when a throng of shoppers surged into a Long Island, New York, store and physically broke down the doors, a police spokesman said.

The 34-year-old man was at the entrance of the Valley Stream Walmart store just after it opened at 5 a.m. local time and was knocked to the ground, and stampeded, the police report said.

Four shoppers, including a 28-year-old pregnant woman, were also taken to local hospitals for injuries sustained in the incident, police said.

Wal-Mart said it was saddened by the death of the man, who was working for a temporary employment agency serving the discount retailer, and by the injuries suffered by shoppers.

"The safety and security of our customers and associates is our top priority," the world's largest retailer said in a statement. It said the incident was still under investigation and referred any other inquiries to local police.

The Friday after America's Thanksgiving holiday is known a Black Friday and marks what is traditionally the busiest retail day of the year, kicking off the Christmas shopping season.

U.S. stores across the country opened in the early hours of Friday to offer discounts to consumers hit by a contracting economy. Hundreds of shoppers waited on line before dawn at some locations to secure deals on holiday gifts.

I have declared myself Queen of Labels.

That means I am in charge of labeling all things.

Jodi is the Queen of Wordplay & Lumber.

Declare yourselves Queens of something. Labels, wordplay, and lumber are taken.

Obama's behind the scenes (wo)man

Better Lovers,

I present to you my tenacious, vivacious Grandma Betty. Every night, leading up to the election, she would watch CNN and pray for an Obama victory. At mention of Palin, she prayed even harder! Sometimes, she would confess to staying up an extra hour at night, losing sleep to pray diligently on her Rosary.

She continually said, regardless of who became president, she would still say the rosary to keep him alive. If McCain had won, she would have prayed extra hard to keep his cancer and oldness at bay because "that Palin. Oh! That Sarah Palin! Can you imagine if she became president?"

She cried the night of the election, and contentedly sighed during McCain's concession speech (her first break, not having to pray againt Palin). She enthusiastically toasted with Sparkling Cider and gave hugs that cut off circulation. Her work praying for a victory was done, but she quickly shifted gears, praying that the new President Elect be kept safe, her rusty-trusty ol' Rosary at her side.

Don't worry Obama. A little, Rosary-wielding, white-haired, Italian, Catholic, mother-of-ten from Bellevue has got your back.

JACKPOT !

Inspiration for new Better Lovers gear ?

These are my Confessions

Just when I thought I said all I could say,

I admit now that is is cold, windy, and rainy all I want to do is consume Pho for my daily nutrients.

I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do, but to give you part 2 of my confessions;

Now that I have been on one date, I have taken voluntary leave from The View.

All the cool kids are doing economics homework on Friday evenings.

I would like to officially nominate Ghetto Pig as the best blogger.

She doesn't blog often, but when she does...AWESOME!

It also helps that she frequently posts pictures of different themed pigs. 

Take note other bloggers who wish to have my undying affection.

This is the second picture that came up when I google imaged 'blogging pig'. This is also why Ghetto Pig is a better blogger than I am:

You have a decision to make.

So. The 23rd. Readers Make Better Boozing Brunchers.

11:00 AM in B'ham at Ghetto Pig's
OR
11:00 AM in Seattle at The KJW Triplex

Your preference, please.

Brilliant Book Club Idea

Idea 1: At our BL meeting (whenever the h that will be), let's have a white elephant book exchange. One or more of you rich and generous dolls would be thoughtful to contribute The Guide to Getting It On. It's gotten me through some rough times. ::wink to Ren::

Otherwise, just wrap up a raunchy sounding used book (complete with stains) and put it under our tree. Or non-tree. Cadav.

Idea 2: Let's dress up as something silly. Jodi and Lynn were thinking book characters. I was thinking nude trapeze artists. Cadav, again.

The Situation

Good News: You know how Lindsay is a lot like Bing Crosby? And Bing Crosby sings "I'll Be Home For Christmas"? Well, Lindsay will be home for Christmas! What are the crosby f'ing odds?

Bad News: She's arriving late late (10:15) on the 22nd. This makes our book club tough. I was thinking about doing a Better Lovers pick-up and then having book club at my house in Seattle, but my roomie has to work early the next morning, and we are incapable of quietness. Sooo, no Seattle. At least not West Seattle.

Other options:
1. Having book club late on the 22nd in B'ham and hoping we are not passed out by the time she gets there (midnightish).
2. Having book club earlier sans Lindsay. (She's here the 22nd to the 30th.)
3. Having book club after Christmas sans me. (I leave on the 26th.)
4. Having two book clubs, one without Lindsay and one without me.
5. Renting/boozing up a room in a Seatac airport and hoping we don't get kicked out.
6. Kicking Jodi in the shin.
7. Getting Jodi's new dog all riled up.
8. Asking Jodi about her date. How was your date, Jodi?

I know a lot of things, BLs, but I don't know what to do here.

Text to life connection

This is so sad:

82 Dead in School Collapse in Haiti.

But can't you just imagine Dr. Paul Farmer swooping in wearing a superhero cape and rescuing the trapped children?

You know, just any excuse to post a picture of a naked person with books.

Take five minutes.

(This has nothing to do with literacy.)

You can read however you like.

In other news (that is about as important as our nation's next president), ballots are in and our next book club meeting is...

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 21ST! We can start early for you weirdos who need to work the next morn'.

You can vote however you like

Laugh and kill time as we wait to hear good things about our love, hope, and inspiration.

OMG! OMG! OMG!

In celebration of this momentous day: watch this.

BL of the Month...barely

I am quite shocked...shocked and appalled. Here I was last night, writing out my BL of the Month acceptance blog when my internet had a glitch and I had to reopen the blog mid-composition, only to find that Cunte had posted a blog requesting some hairy loon with a bad attitude should take my spot and that my giant pencil (a gift from Corpse herself) makes no difference. I then deleted my most amazing blog post ever (it was very funny and genius and made you cry and laugh with joy, and worthy of a BL of the year award).

But I have come back to post again tonight, in a very humbled spirit, recognizing just how special it is to be BL of the month because the competition is fierce, and it is a title only few can claim.

Riff-Rafferty

Sorry for monopolizing the last three posts. I couldn't help it. Get over it.

One day to go - the BIGGEST election ever!! Who's freaked out? I am. But here is a way you can make a difference in the next 24 hours. Schlep on over to Florida and convince your Jewish grandparents to do the right thing by voting left. That's right BLs, get your Jewish relatives on board. Here's how . . .

The Great Schlep

I went to a rally today on campus put on by Patty Murray (what a small lady!) and Christine Gregoire (who reminded me of a Santa elf and was AWESOME! all the same), and they said, "Don't have any regrets!! Don't wake up on Wednesday the 5th and wish you had done something more to help your party. Don't wake up wishing you had made that extra phone call, rang that extra door bell, schlepped that extra schlep."

On the Campaign Trail

Indy here, would like to challenge NicUNCOOL as BL of the Christmas month.
What does he have to offer, you ask?
-Chest hair, massive amounts (not glued on with rubber cement), enough to share
-A Whip
-Willingness to make out with unfortunate, manly women
-Has good sex/singing-really-high-pitched face

On behalf of drunk women everywhere who've made out with asshole fighter pilots and hairy Harrison Ford wannabes, please consider my candidate.
As IndyCOOL says in The Last Crusade -
"[The world is] too small for two of us."

I am Cross Fire! and I approve this message.
P.S. - Congratulations Kris. I'm glad to know my gifted big pencil is helping you ace tests and BL elections. Woot woot.

Literary concepts and other BL matters

During my recovery from the West Seattle 5k Walk for Herpes, I was drinking sprite and watching these. At first I thought, Wow, School House Rock kicks these people's asses! And then I thought, Wow, I am wasting potentially productive time.

I share these with you because;
1 - they remind me of our BL Ski to Sea shirts
2 - there are teachers among you. Seriously Kelly, I would appreciate a report of your students' reactions.
3 - due to daylight savings you will not be wasting your life, merely filling in some of the extra time you've been granted.

Main Idea
Context Clues
Author's Purpose

Hoping you don't have alcohol seeping through your pores, as I do,
Cross Fire! - I also would like to note that I did Richard proud by making out with two guys in one night. It was the gay in him that pushed me to such madness.